Archive for May, 2010

May 27, 2010

Why I support(ed) Draw Muhammad Day.


I realize that I may be a week late on this topic, but whatever. It’s my blog and I’ll cry if I want to.

There are few political issues I care about and/or will actually bother looking into, much less blog about. Freedom of speech is one of these exceptions. I love my freedom of speech more than any other right that we have. When I was younger, my grandma and mother often told me about communist Poland where saying the wrong thing would get you killed. Friends and family members were taken away from them for those reasons. I would get scared and ask them if that could happen here.

“We don’t have that here in America,” they’d say with a smile on their faces, “we have freedom of speech.”

Assuming you haven’t been living under a rock, you should have heard that Pakistan has recently banned Facebook and a bunch of other websites. Why, you ask? Why would a country ban the internet’s most popular social networking site? Because of this group. “Everybody Draw Mohammad Day!”

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May 22, 2010

Look! A poll! Who doesn’t love polls?


You know, I know I’ve been skipping out on updating this weekly. A lot has been going on and I just haven’t been able to keep up. Which sucks for you guys since you seem to be coming back for whatever reason and hoping to be entertained (which is actually why I’m so shocked you guys keep coming). With my kitchen being torn up, (don’t worry, you get a full explanation later) I just haven’t been able to sit down and churn stuff out. My days have been filled with loud saws and running to both Home Depot and Lowes. There’s dust in the air, and even one of our cats is getting ashma problems.

But anyway, I’m just making excuses at this point. Sorry about that folks.

What I would like you, my dear invisible friends, to do for me is take this wonderful polls I’ve included in this post. I’ve been wondering what you have been thinking of my once-a-week postings. Should I do more? Do less? Everyday? (Not happening). And what about the lengths, too long? Should I maybe throw in some shorter ones now and then? What would you like to see?

After taking the polls please comment in the comment section below. Not on Facebook, if you could. :3

Thanks friends.

May 7, 2010

Jokes I’ve played on students 01


(What’s this? A post that isn’t over 9000 words long? It’s more likely than you think.)

Take your pick: Masons, Aliens, or Alien Masons?

The other day I was subbing for a class that was computer based. The teachers in this building are smart and installed software that allows them to view what each student it doing on their computers at the same time. What really makes this software awesome is that you can cut their internet connection, shut down their computer, make everyone see what he/she is doing, and-best of all-control their computer. This has lead to some fun times on my part especially since most of the time, they don’t realize I know about the software.

On this day I noticed one student slacking off and browsing the web. When I clicked on the little box that showed what she was doing, it enlarged it on my screen that that it mimicked hers. What I saw made me grin to such an extent that any student who saw me probably thought I was some pedophile creeper looking at porn. But no, this was something awesome! This was something I had spent many college nights looking into, filling my young mind with delusions! Working myself into a strange paranoia as I looked out the window and the world ending before my eyes! Now I saw that she too was doing the same thing: reading up on the Illuminati; the super-secret-crack-pot-theory-of-shadowy-evil-reptilian-alien-overlords!

What made it worse was when I saw how serious she was taking this; she was hunched over staring deep into the monitor with an intense gaze. Her troubled face told me she was eating up every word, wondering how this menace could be stopped.

That’s when I stepped in. I used the software to take control of her computer. She shot up when the mouse moved against her will as it moved towards the address bar. Then the words appeared in it:

We are watching you.

She shouted and nearly jumped out of her chair. Everyone turned and looked at her. She showed the monitor to her friend, who soon became as pale as she was.

That was when I couldn’t hold back my laughter anymore and almost fell out of my seat. She quickly turned to me, confused and a bit frightened, “Was that you?” she asked.

I could only respond with “God I love my job!”

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