Archive for August, 2010

August 31, 2010

A Potentially Racist Post

Angry girl

Black women have a type of sass which other races envy.

Now, I know we all grew up being told that everyone is different and special and that we shouldn’t judge or make assumptions about people because of their race, color of their skin, religion, creed, what they wear, how they talk, social class, what they do, or how they eat their food.

Well I’m going to ignore all of that for a moment because, well, it’s kinda bullshit since you can tell a lot about people just by looking at them. However, if any of us are qualified to figure out this data from sight alone is another matter that I don’t want to go into. (We’re not, stop being cocky).

While subbing, there was always something I noticed, something like the black kids did that white kids didn’t nearly as often. I think it may have to do with black culture, how it makes them act this way almost in self defense. To be honest, watching it occur every time brought a sense of joy to me. As if there really was order amidst the chaos of a high school classroom. The event happens like this with generally the same dialogue each time:

Black male: *says something stupid*

Black  female (usually from the other side of the classroom): [name of male student] why the hell you gotta be so damn ig’nant?

Black male: *is put off by the attack* Man, [name of female student] why you gotta be like that?

Black female: Why the hell YOU gotta be like that?

At this point other students,  including his own friends begin to make fun of him and chastise him. In self defense he turns to me.

Black male: Did you hear that? She’s swearing!

I am busy laughing at his embarrassment.

Black female: You see that? Even the sub is laughin’ at your dumb ass!

Class continues as normal.

(Sometimes, a white kid will point out and make fun of them for talking in Ebonics which 95% of the time ends with everyone laughing. Including said black kids.)

I have yet to see these events enacted by white kids. Usually with white kids, it’s a toss up for which gender says the stupid thing and it’s usually a lot quicker with someone just telling them to shut up. Not as funny usually. 😦

August 26, 2010

A Window to the Past: I Get Mad Watching French Films

One day, I will find this man and punch him in the mouth.

As I mentioned in an early post, I despise artsy films. I hate them and wish that only bad things happened to their directors. I wish for all the food in their fridge to rot and their wines to somehow go bad.

But anyway, recently while I was looking for old writing samples, I came across something that reminded me of all the pain I once went through. I found the assigned blog that I had to maintain for my French New Wave class at Wayne State.

It’s all pretty bad; you easily can see where I stop giving a damn about it as the movies drove me insane. I begin to curse and swear and demand the head of Jean-Loc Godard, then cool down when I realize that I do need to write halfway decent stuff to get a good grade in the class.

(Well, it might not be that dramatic, but I do curse a lot towards the middle.)

So here it is!

Looking at it, I wondered how the hell I got an A in the class, though it may have something to do with how I noticed that the professor (a married man) was always hanging around young girls on campus and taking them out to dinner……

August 24, 2010

Revolver Wielding Muses

Hesiod and the Muse

This image is a lie, Muses are all bitches who hate everything about you.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been working on a novel and since this whole blog was actually started because of it I figured I’d let you good people know about its lack of progress. I’ve been pretty diligent with working on it; inching closer and closer to my goal of 80,000 some words. My productivity even started increasing when I hit the 50k mark since the end was in sight. However, recently I’ve hit a bit of a speed bump. The kind that sends your car spiraling out of control and down a cliff. Soon the news reporters come and everyone is looking at your dead corpse which is half way through your windshield because you were too cool to wear a seat belt.

You see, every writer has at least one muse. I have two: my fiancee and one that only seems to speak to me when I’m barreling down the highway at speeds that would get arrested for reckless endangerment. My fiancee tends to give me good advice at times it’s needed or wanted. She’s good at grounding and telling me when I’m being stupid.

And then there’s the other one. For the sake of clarity, we’ll call her “M” (because I’m so damn original).

The muse that is my fiancee exists in the real world (promise I’m not making this part up) and helps pay our bills; M exists only in my head, but knows how to beat the walls to piss off the neighbors and give me a headache. My fiancee is classy but is able to chug a fifth of vodka if the night calls for it; M is always drinking vodka.

The ideas from M never come when needed or even wanted. The ideas range from “Holycrapawesome” to “WTFisthisshit” and I often have to double check them with the fiancee. Sometimes M just piggybacks off of the ideas the fiancee tells me by telling me how her idea would work or fit into what I got going. Life would be wonderful if I could just get them to work together.

But life isn’t that wonderful.

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August 13, 2010


Picture unrelated.

…is for suckers!

August 5, 2010

Another Milestone! (With Fanservice for the Fans!)

So exactly one week ago, I hit a pretty big milestone for this blog. Best part is that it’s actually not embarrassing to tell! Last week, Thursday, I had 99 hits for that day alone. It appears that it had little to do with my previous experiment though.

It’s a bit surreal though, to think that close to 100 people read my blog on that day (or even at all really). It’s a bit disappointing since now the 50-60 hit mark seems petty in comparison. I can’t really picture it in my head. Hell, I can’t even picture 10 people a day reading stuff on my blog. I find myself asking if I will ever reach that goal or get past it again? Probably not. Who knows?

Apparently these guys really dig my blog.

I realize though, that I owe it to you people. For coming to this blog day after day after day, and being disappointed each time. If it weren’t for you, my bloated ego would be that much smaller and I’d probably be wasting time doing something productive like finding a use for my degree that pays the bills on time.

Most importantly: thank you, robots. Your visits that give me bogus references in my “Sites Referring to Me” tab that only I can see consistently bump my hit count. While I realize you are nothing more than code and metal, you are still a valuable fan since you come by so often and so regularly. Actually, you ground and humble me as I can easily see my hit counts being armies of you guys visiting my site as you crack open a beer at the end of a long hard day of killing humans. Why you spare me, I have yet to understand. Have you truly coded yourselves a sense of humor? Because if my site counts as funny, you really need to look at that programming again.

I believe I should reward you loyal machines. So here’s some good old fashioned fan service dedicated to my most loyal fans, the robots.

Presenting your robotic wet dream/National Robot Anthem, “The Humans Are Dead.”

August 3, 2010

Strange Thoughts: The Future of Pop Idols

I’m dedicating this to Chris for being obsessed with this stuff for years. Oh, and the robots; you guys will love this stuff.

I’ve always admired the Japanese for two reasons: first, they tend to have technology a good five years before we do. Secondly, because they’re so goddamn wacky. Or at least they can be. (I mean really, have you seen any anime? Shit’s nuts! It’s cool though; I’m a nerd).

Recently, I came across something that freaked me out at first glance, but then I began thinking about it and came to a strange conclusion. But before I begin, I’d like you to look at Exhibit A: Britney Spears

Yes, I am going somewhere with this

Now, you’re allowed to like the music that Britney Spears “makes,” but you must recognize that it’s meant to be shallow catchy-as-hell pop stuff. That in and of itself is not a bad thing-that music is needed every now and then. What is the issue here is that she doesn’t write her own lyrics, doesn’t involve herself in any of the music-making part, and can’t really sing that well either.

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