Archive for ‘publishing’

December 6, 2010

Crushing Reality Or How I Managed to Avoid Killing Myself

This is me everyday actually.

Today I am 24 years of age, an age of no usual significance-unless you’re me. If you’ve read my first post, you would know that Past Me made a deal with Myself that if I didn’t have anything published by the end of my 23rd year, I’d off myself. I would completely succumb to depression and in an angry rage at my inability to chase my dreams, I would end my life. That is unless I somehow fuck it up and just end up in the ER. Resulting in a fate worse than death as I have to live the rest of my life knowing that I couldn’t even do the thing I said I would do if I couldn’t do the thing I really wanted to do with my life.

How did that work out? Well I had planned on averting death by merely proving Present Me is smarter than Past Me by “publishing” some work (this blog) on the internet. Instead, I’ve actually gotten stuff published on a website that is not a blog. Good old Demand Studios, you’ve not only helped me dodge a bullet but proven that I’m also more skilled than Past Me. Sure, it’s not the most respectable of jobs and publishing, but hey, type my name into Google and I come up more than that other Antonin who’s worked on movies.

Take that, doppelganger.

So what else have I done by the end of my 23rd year? Well I’ve finished a manuscript-a first for me. Sure, I’m still editing it, but it’s coming along. (Remind me to never change the gender of a main character ever again, by the way.) It’s become a rather grueling procedure now where I stare blankly at a page thinking of how to fix the rubbish I put there in a hurry to make a certain word count.

I’ve also bought and remodeled a house. That’s neat.

I got a dog too. Past Me would never have seen that one coming. Hell, sometimes I forget the dog is there until she nudges me, wanting me to feed her. As if she’s entitled cause that’s the humane thing to do or something.

The other thing that actually asked most of me is the thing that’s probably made the least amount of progress: getting married. Oh the things we still have to do. I don’t even think the bridal party is set yet. Wait, doesn’t that fact that I don’t know tell me something. I should probably talk to the fiancee and get to work on that. The wedding is about 6 months away-the half birthday of Jesus Christ-and I don’t even think the colors are officially picked out yet.

Yeah, that’s a good idea. I should go do that. I should, but I think I’m going to work on updating that other, nerdy blog of mine.

August 13, 2010


Picture unrelated.

…is for suckers!

August 5, 2010

Another Milestone! (With Fanservice for the Fans!)

So exactly one week ago, I hit a pretty big milestone for this blog. Best part is that it’s actually not embarrassing to tell! Last week, Thursday, I had 99 hits for that day alone. It appears that it had little to do with my previous experiment though.

It’s a bit surreal though, to think that close to 100 people read my blog on that day (or even at all really). It’s a bit disappointing since now the 50-60 hit mark seems petty in comparison. I can’t really picture it in my head. Hell, I can’t even picture 10 people a day reading stuff on my blog. I find myself asking if I will ever reach that goal or get past it again? Probably not. Who knows?

Apparently these guys really dig my blog.

I realize though, that I owe it to you people. For coming to this blog day after day after day, and being disappointed each time. If it weren’t for you, my bloated ego would be that much smaller and I’d probably be wasting time doing something productive like finding a use for my degree that pays the bills on time.

Most importantly: thank you, robots. Your visits that give me bogus references in my “Sites Referring to Me” tab that only I can see consistently bump my hit count. While I realize you are nothing more than code and metal, you are still a valuable fan since you come by so often and so regularly. Actually, you ground and humble me as I can easily see my hit counts being armies of you guys visiting my site as you crack open a beer at the end of a long hard day of killing humans. Why you spare me, I have yet to understand. Have you truly coded yourselves a sense of humor? Because if my site counts as funny, you really need to look at that programming again.

I believe I should reward you loyal machines. So here’s some good old fashioned fan service dedicated to my most loyal fans, the robots.

Presenting your robotic wet dream/National Robot Anthem, “The Humans Are Dead.”

March 1, 2010

FORCED INTEREST: Baby’s First Query Letter

Okay, here’s the deal non-existent readers. I’ve been (pathetically) trying to make a series of articles actually interesting to read for the past… oh God, I don’t actually want to remember. There was originally one article that was so terrible that I erased it and it was never to be mentioned it again (save for right now). What now remains is actually a third article, that was not quite as boring as the first two.

Since the subject matter of all the blog posts itself were boring no matter how I look at it, and I’m going to make it interesting, forcefully. How, you may ask, am I going to make something boring as hell, interesting? Well by forcefully inserting passages from something that is interesting. Since I don’t believe in plagiarizing, but I do in stealing, you will clearly know that I did not write these passages by bolding the hell out of them. And like a good English Major, I will leave the source at the bottom. Although in all honesty if you can’t figure out where it’s from, you may need to go to the doctor: you may have the stupid.

So now, my dear (non-existent) readers, something interesting…..

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