Posts tagged ‘High school’

September 15, 2010

Other People Having Kids


Newborn child, seconds after birth. The umbili...

These things have come out of people you knew. Kinda like in ALIENS.

It happens in every High School at least once every year: someone gets knocked up. Yet for some reason, it is never a big deal. This usually happens because the people getting knocked up are, well, that kind of people. You are completely unfazed other than the initial  “O RLY?” factor.

When you started college you went to some sort of orientation or had heard this fact somewhere: two out of four will drop out, one of which will be due to pregnancy. Hearing this, in your head you laughed, Pregnancy? Really? I can understand  alcohol and drug addictions and even bad grades, but pregnancy? Come on man! This is the future; we got rubbers and pills to prevent that!

But then you get half way through college or maybe this even happens once you’re done. Either way it will happen. Maybe you’ll be walking to a Dairy Queen on a nice summer day or maybe it’ll just happen when you’re browsing Facebook. You will see people you knew holding small children. Very small children. Then you notice that the girl you knew holding the child in the photo is in a hospital gown and looks very tired. Wait a minute! You say to yourself, Did fucking X have a fucking child?

Yes, yes they did. And they tend to have this happiness in their eyes that you crave deep down. (Stop denying it, you’re only embarrassing yourself.)

For me this moment came when I saw a former roommate of mine comment on a friend’s…. whatever on Facebook. I noticed the picture of a small newborn child. Knowing this girl my first thought was “oh god she finally snapped and stole someone’s kid. Give me the fucking phone I need to call the cops.” But as I did some stalking investigating I found out she had gotten married and birthed the child.

I was genuinely confused. She was the last one I’d ever expect to have a kid. When she lived with me she had done so many drugs I thought that her body would have been unable to spawn offspring. There were nights where I’d walk downstairs and ask if I could have some sudafed since I was having legitimate problems breathing due to allergies. As she held a half drunk 40 in her hand, she smiled and told me she had just ate them all. The whole pack. Oh, and I think she also had two hits of acid at the time.

I just walked away. My brain was hurting.

But there she was, happy in her photos with the child. I hope she stopped her drug habits now that she was a mother. She wasn’t dumb, just a weird girl who should have grown up in the 1960s. Part of me was jealous of her in a way, she was starting a family. Deep down a lot of us want that; little monsters following us around that think we’re the coolest, strongest, smartest people on the planet. I turned to my fiancee and was about to open my mouth, but then I thought about it for a moment and ran upstairs to give her her birth control pills.

Not now. Maybe in about 10 years.

August 31, 2010

A Potentially Racist Post


Angry girl

Black women have a type of sass which other races envy.

Now, I know we all grew up being told that everyone is different and special and that we shouldn’t judge or make assumptions about people because of their race, color of their skin, religion, creed, what they wear, how they talk, social class, what they do, or how they eat their food.

Well I’m going to ignore all of that for a moment because, well, it’s kinda bullshit since you can tell a lot about people just by looking at them. However, if any of us are qualified to figure out this data from sight alone is another matter that I don’t want to go into. (We’re not, stop being cocky).

While subbing, there was always something I noticed, something like the black kids did that white kids didn’t nearly as often. I think it may have to do with black culture, how it makes them act this way almost in self defense. To be honest, watching it occur every time brought a sense of joy to me. As if there really was order amidst the chaos of a high school classroom. The event happens like this with generally the same dialogue each time:

Black male: *says something stupid*

Black  female (usually from the other side of the classroom): [name of male student] why the hell you gotta be so damn ig’nant?

Black male: *is put off by the attack* Man, [name of female student] why you gotta be like that?

Black female: Why the hell YOU gotta be like that?

At this point other students,  including his own friends begin to make fun of him and chastise him. In self defense he turns to me.

Black male: Did you hear that? She’s swearing!

I am busy laughing at his embarrassment.

Black female: You see that? Even the sub is laughin’ at your dumb ass!

Class continues as normal.

(Sometimes, a white kid will point out and make fun of them for talking in Ebonics which 95% of the time ends with everyone laughing. Including said black kids.)

I have yet to see these events enacted by white kids. Usually with white kids, it’s a toss up for which gender says the stupid thing and it’s usually a lot quicker with someone just telling them to shut up. Not as funny usually. 😦

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