Posts tagged ‘hits’

July 9, 2010


I’ve been meaning to try something. Apparently, the best way to get a ridiculous number of hits on your blog is to make a post about how to get a ridiculous number of hits. Even easier, apparently you just copy-pasta this guy’s post right here. This was recommended by this guy so you can’t get mad at me for it.

Man, life on the internet is tough these days; you have to outright steal stuff for attention. That or take photos of Miley Cyrus’s vajayjay. (If you want info on that look it up yourself).

Now, I like you guys (especially the robots that keep visiting on days that I don’t post anything). You inflate my tiny sense of self worth and ego so I’m going to try and make this easy on you guys. Sure, you could just not read the post but that’d be boring and lame. What I’m going to do is use a technique I invented in this post that I now call FORCED INTEREST (it must be yelled when spoken). What now follows is not going to actually be my writing. Nothing below this paragragh is written by me. Part of it will be this post while another will be bolded, classic, interesting literature. Can you guess where it’s from? It should be easy. (Hint: It’s the Divine Comedy by Dante).

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June 1, 2010

Milestone GET!

I gotta believe!

On Friday, this blog hit a new milestone of hits in one day. I could hear Angels burst out in song as the sun shone brightly on the land, filling me with light. Flowers bloomed for me and me alone, releasing their sweet fragrances. For a moment, there was peace in the world, if only for a moment. My mother even called me and told me she was proud of me. Just kidding, none of that happened.

Except the milestone thing, which was very happy-making. So what was this awesome milestone you ask?

Gee! The weather’s been great huh? No? Milestone? Oh right right. Well in all honesty it’s not that great, but I’m damn proud of it anyway.

And I’m also done through calculations of these stats of my blog and realized how many people actually read my blog. That number: 5! Yes five! So feel special you five wonderful people, you make me feel special.

Haha, actually I have no idea how many of you guys are returning to my blog. Or even if you’re real. You could be pure figments of my stressed and delusional mind. Or robots. And if you’re a robot clearly you must be from the future! Since after all, we can’t currently produce robots that can waste time on the internet reading unknown blogs. That’s just silly and naive.

But no matter! My ego is big enough to take (most) anything thrown at it. Be it robots, unruly students, college bureaucracies, and, of course, epic failure. Sure, I may crawl under the covers for a bit and weep loudly as I listen to Linkin Park-but eventually I brush it off and start again. Probably cause I’m not smart enough to realize when I should quit.

And I’ll be honest again, even though my milestone is rather small, this is exactly how I felt. Music and all.

So thank you dear imaginary friends/robots from the future. I’ll continue to post garbage humorous entries as much as I can. Unless you’re from the future in which case you have access to everything I’ve written ever. So if you’re considering re-animating me to re-create the human race, let me tell you I am wonderful company at cocktail parties.

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