Posts tagged ‘practical jokes’

June 7, 2010

Jokes I’ve Played on Students 02

Oh yes, I did.

This one was is especially terrible.

It was a middle school, I was having a great day with some really good students. They actually worked silently when I asked! There wasn’t much for me to do, and I quickly became bored.

Then there was a phone call from the office. So-and-So’s mother was there to pick them up for their dentist appointment.

Suddenly my bordem vanished: I had an idea. Being a substitute I’ve kinda learned how to change my personality type on demand. (At least while I’m working). I have no problem switching from normal nice-guy to super-cereal authority figure. Here, I quickly adapted a somber expression and called the student up to the desk. I looked at him with a pitiful expression, the kind that adults gave us when they told us that the World Trade Centers had fallen. Tears may have been forming in the corner of my eyes.

“John,” I said, making it hard for the words to come out, “it seems there’s been an accident…”

Heads snapped in his direction. The kid’s face went white and he may have stopped breathing for just a moment. His eyes looked on the verge of tears and he waited in painful anticipation of the details. What happened? Who did it happen to?

“Actually,” I said, “your mom’s in the office waiting to take you to the dentist. Take your stuff and get out of here!”

Laughter and relief. Apparently the kid had completely forgotten about the appointment.

I’m pretty sure he gave his mom a hug when he saw her.

See? Mean jokes have good side effects.

May 7, 2010

Jokes I’ve played on students 01

(What’s this? A post that isn’t over 9000 words long? It’s more likely than you think.)

Take your pick: Masons, Aliens, or Alien Masons?

The other day I was subbing for a class that was computer based. The teachers in this building are smart and installed software that allows them to view what each student it doing on their computers at the same time. What really makes this software awesome is that you can cut their internet connection, shut down their computer, make everyone see what he/she is doing, and-best of all-control their computer. This has lead to some fun times on my part especially since most of the time, they don’t realize I know about the software.

On this day I noticed one student slacking off and browsing the web. When I clicked on the little box that showed what she was doing, it enlarged it on my screen that that it mimicked hers. What I saw made me grin to such an extent that any student who saw me probably thought I was some pedophile creeper looking at porn. But no, this was something awesome! This was something I had spent many college nights looking into, filling my young mind with delusions! Working myself into a strange paranoia as I looked out the window and the world ending before my eyes! Now I saw that she too was doing the same thing: reading up on the Illuminati; the super-secret-crack-pot-theory-of-shadowy-evil-reptilian-alien-overlords!

What made it worse was when I saw how serious she was taking this; she was hunched over staring deep into the monitor with an intense gaze. Her troubled face told me she was eating up every word, wondering how this menace could be stopped.

That’s when I stepped in. I used the software to take control of her computer. She shot up when the mouse moved against her will as it moved towards the address bar. Then the words appeared in it:

We are watching you.

She shouted and nearly jumped out of her chair. Everyone turned and looked at her. She showed the monitor to her friend, who soon became as pale as she was.

That was when I couldn’t hold back my laughter anymore and almost fell out of my seat. She quickly turned to me, confused and a bit frightened, “Was that you?” she asked.

I could only respond with “God I love my job!”

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