Posts tagged ‘robots’

August 5, 2010

Another Milestone! (With Fanservice for the Fans!)


So exactly one week ago, I hit a pretty big milestone for this blog. Best part is that it’s actually not embarrassing to tell! Last week, Thursday, I had 99 hits for that day alone. It appears that it had little to do with my previous experiment though.

It’s a bit surreal though, to think that close to 100 people read my blog on that day (or even at all really). It’s a bit disappointing since now the 50-60 hit mark seems petty in comparison. I can’t really picture it in my head. Hell, I can’t even picture 10 people a day reading stuff on my blog. I find myself asking if I will ever reach that goal or get past it again? Probably not. Who knows?

Apparently these guys really dig my blog.

I realize though, that I owe it to you people. For coming to this blog day after day after day, and being disappointed each time. If it weren’t for you, my bloated ego would be that much smaller and I’d probably be wasting time doing something productive like finding a use for my degree that pays the bills on time.

Most importantly: thank you, robots. Your visits that give me bogus references in my “Sites Referring to Me” tab that only I can see consistently bump my hit count. While I realize you are nothing more than code and metal, you are still a valuable fan since you come by so often and so regularly. Actually, you ground and humble me as I can easily see my hit counts being armies of you guys visiting my site as you crack open a beer at the end of a long hard day of killing humans. Why you spare me, I have yet to understand. Have you truly coded yourselves a sense of humor? Because if my site counts as funny, you really need to look at that programming again.

I believe I should reward you loyal machines. So here’s some good old fashioned fan service dedicated to my most loyal fans, the robots.

Presenting your robotic wet dream/National Robot Anthem, “The Humans Are Dead.”

June 1, 2010

Milestone GET!


I gotta believe!

On Friday, this blog hit a new milestone of hits in one day. I could hear Angels burst out in song as the sun shone brightly on the land, filling me with light. Flowers bloomed for me and me alone, releasing their sweet fragrances. For a moment, there was peace in the world, if only for a moment. My mother even called me and told me she was proud of me. Just kidding, none of that happened.

Except the milestone thing, which was very happy-making. So what was this awesome milestone you ask?

Gee! The weather’s been great huh? No? Milestone? Oh right right. Well in all honesty it’s not that great, but I’m damn proud of it anyway.

And I’m also done through calculations of these stats of my blog and realized how many people actually read my blog. That number: 5! Yes five! So feel special you five wonderful people, you make me feel special.

Haha, actually I have no idea how many of you guys are returning to my blog. Or even if you’re real. You could be pure figments of my stressed and delusional mind. Or robots. And if you’re a robot clearly you must be from the future! Since after all, we can’t currently produce robots that can waste time on the internet reading unknown blogs. That’s just silly and naive.

But no matter! My ego is big enough to take (most) anything thrown at it. Be it robots, unruly students, college bureaucracies, and, of course, epic failure. Sure, I may crawl under the covers for a bit and weep loudly as I listen to Linkin Park-but eventually I brush it off and start again. Probably cause I’m not smart enough to realize when I should quit.

And I’ll be honest again, even though my milestone is rather small, this is exactly how I felt. Music and all.

So thank you dear imaginary friends/robots from the future. I’ll continue to post garbage humorous entries as much as I can. Unless you’re from the future in which case you have access to everything I’ve written ever. So if you’re considering re-animating me to re-create the human race, let me tell you I am wonderful company at cocktail parties.

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